yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
