Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Someone signed my nipple.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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