Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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