Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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