Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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