Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
