so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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