my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
