i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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