Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
