I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
