I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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