i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
