she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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