Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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