Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize