Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
