Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
