I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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