Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize