as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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