thus making me awesome and them whores
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
