Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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