i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so let's talk penis.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You are a genius and a whore.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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