The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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