using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
