Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
