pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
