I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
