I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
