I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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