Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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