the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize