What did we do last night that was yellow?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
