we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
