I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
