yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
