cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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