Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
A+ Viking dick
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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