If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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