You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
