oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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