Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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