He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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