Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I didn't notice because vodka
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
