porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
