I hope mine doesn't look like that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
