Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
