just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize