just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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