You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
