despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Come on in and take your pants off
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