Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
