Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
