he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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