i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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