Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
