its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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