oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
