I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this just has baby written all over it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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