The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize