We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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