Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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