Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
